I'm boycotting society.

It's true.

I've had enough.

This has something to do with my envy of Kate and her pregnant self (track with me here a second). Not because I wish to be pregnant. Not at the moment, anyway. I envy her because IF people are bold enough to ask her if she is pregnant (which is always a no-no, by the way - ARE YOU LISTENING?), she can happily answer "Yes, isn't life a miracle?" and not have to say, "No, I'm not, but apparently I look like I am." Creates awkwardness and all kinds of insecurity. Satan. It's Satan. When you have the urge to ask a woman if she is pregnant, be aware that you will be acting on behalf of Lucifer himself.

It's true.

I guess this means that I will also continue my boycott of Satan.

SERIOUSLY PEOPLE!!!! I do not look it! I certainly do not look anywhere near close enough to warrant being asked this TWO TIMES in the last six months.

Here's how today's conversation went:

Innocent Laura: I need to go to Babies R Us to get a shower gift.
Unwitting Agent of Satan: Are you expecting?
IL: [Thinks: That's odd.] Oh, no!
UAoS: Oh, well I asked because you have a little bit of a tummy.

WHAT??? WHAT???
She shoulda left it alone. I would have just assumed that she didn't hear the part about needing to buy a shower gift. BUT NOOOOO...and unlike the last culprit, I can't excuse her based on her being from another continent and thus perhaps ignorant of such cultural taboos. Whatever.

Point is, I'm not pregnant. But Erin is, and I will be going to her shower this evening.

Then I'll be spending a lot of time at the Y and eating iceberg lettuce and water popsicles a la DJ Tanner.

Reason #42 why being a newlywed boosts your confidence

Laura: Why's the fridge open?
Josh: I opened it to get a Canada Dry, but then I saw your butt.

Random (but fabulous) photo slideshow!

Of course I'll sit with the kids.

Although (try as I may) Geico has NEVER saved me money on my car insurance, I love the commercials, especially these last few weeks. Especially this one. He's so conversational.

Presenting...

...Elaina Marie Mikrut!

[But please, call her Lainey.]

Whatta peanut! She's adorable! We all love her!

I feel a bit bad that I have been so remiss in posting this in a timely manner...she's eight days old already. But pish posh. Cuteness is cuteness, no matter how late.

And, because I couldn't resist...here's a photo of Lainey being held by Preston, the youngest of her three big brothers, who just turned two on Sunday:

Oh, the cute. I just can't handle all these fine-lookin' children.