This is my official Debbie Downer post

Picture me as Rachel Dratch. Not really. Overall it's been a pretty good week, but I had to share the two icky things that bookended my week:

Monday: I drove to Muskegon and met my parents and my Uncle Brian (otherwise known as Uncle Daddy...and no, we're not Appalachian) in Muskegon for...yup...a funeral. We'd gotten a call on Thanksgiving that Aunt Bonnie died that day of pneumonia. Now, Aunt Bonnie is my dad's aunt, grandma's sister, my great aunt. I've always thought she was just a great lady. We spent a good amount of time with her over the years and I can't tell you how good she's been to my family. I had no idea how amazing she really was. She had one of those Life Story funerals, so I learned a lot of things...she had tuberculosis as a child and spent a year in a sanitarium. She lost her firstborn child at 5 months to a crib accident. She worked full-time as a teacher while raising four kids. She was two classes short of her doctorate when she retired. She was diagnosed with lung cancer and had one of her lungs removed in 1983. The doctors said she would only live five more years, and she lived 24. She died at age 85. Unbelievable. It was nice to see my dad's cousins, not to mention their kids, whom I haven't seen since we were all little (and they don't remember me because they're so much younger than I).

Aunt Bonnie's church was someplace I had been twice before in my life, and when I arrived I remembered that when I was younger I used to have a recurring dream that took place in that church. I was being stalked by a man I never actually saw. I ran up some back stairs in an attempt to reach safety (I could hear women in the kitchen talking), and just as I'd reach the top step, he'd grab my ankle and I'd wake up. I probably had this dream four or so times since I'd last been there, so it was definitely a strange feeling to actually revisit the place. I'm weird, I know.

Friday: I was on my way to Kent City to see one of my kids for counseling. I KNEW the roads were bad up that way. I KNEW I shouldn't have been in the left lane when there was slush in it. Nonetheless, right at the exit for 14 Mile I hit a patch of slush and started skidding/fishtailing this way and that. My ONLY concern was the huge oil tanker that was not too far behind me...more specifically, I wanted in no uncertain terms to avoid any contact with it. As my car flailed around across the two lanes, I spoke aloud exactly these words: "Sh*t-sh*t-sh*t-sh*t-ditch-ditch-ditch-ditch!" I wanted that ditch. I wanted to be cradled in its loving arms so very badly. Then I saw the other car in the ditch, and I hoped I could avoid hitting that as well. Finally, FINALLY, my tail end spun to the left and placed itself (thank you) in the ditch with my front tires resting on the rumble strip, my car at a perfectly square 90 degrees of oncoming traffic. Once I ensured I wasn't going to have a heart attack, I looked left and saw yet another car about 20 feet away...must have followed me into the ditch. (Have I mentioned that I love the ditch?) The guy in the silver Grand Am came over, asked if I was okay, and said, "I was watching you, that was really scary!" I said, "You're telling ME!" The driver of the Jeep Liberty managed to get hisself out of the ditch with his 4-Wheel drive and came over to help. I immediately got on the horn and called Progressive to send a tow truck. Mr. Grand Am said he'd called Progressive over two hours ago for his tow. We all decided that I could probably get myself out once there was a break in traffic...with a little push from my new friends, I did. I thanked them. I called Progressive and canceled my tow. I proceeded on to Kent City. While driving, I started thinking about what could have happened (oh my GOSH what could've happened), pulled over in a party store parking lot, and started bawling. I decided that I wouldn't do much good helping people heal emotionally in that kind of state, so I canceled my appointments and headed over to Josh's parents' house.

Aside from typing all that out, I'm trying really hard not to think about it.

Anyway, today's a new day, I'm excited about it, and it's well past time I went to bed. Thanks for reading all my adjectives, friends :)

Happy Birthday, Grandma!

Today is Grandma Chipman's 91st birthday. Here are ten things you may not know about her:

10. When she was a little girl, she saw her first airplane fly by and she was so excited that she wet her long bloomers.

9. She had a nice wedding planned but it was changed quite a bit when my grandpa's deployment was moved up during World War II.

8. Grandma's favorite TV show is All Creatures Great and Small; this has been her favorite show for at least 25 years.

7. Unlike many people her age, she is a die-hard Democrat and likes to tell me why Debbie Stabenow is the best choice.

6. As you may have previously heard via my blog, every article of clothing Grandma C wears is made by Alfred Dunner.

5. Grandma didn't learn how to pump her own gas until about eight years ago.

4. Grandma had her hands full with my mom and my Aunt Candy, who did not get along at. all.

3. She has always had a great distaste for cats. In fact, when I was about six years old I brought my stuffed Garfield over to her house and she took one look at it and said, "Cats are evil." (Sorry, Anne.)

2. She makes the best icebox cookies in the world.

1. She has a very dry, sarcastic sense of humor that I've really begun to appreciate a lot these past few years.

Tagge'd

So Diane got me. (Mainly because I whined.)

Here's how you play....once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with ten random facts, habits, or goals about yourself. At the end, choose ten people to tag, listing their names and why you chose them; don't forget to leave a comment on their page letting them know "tag you're it". You cannot tag the original people/person back that tagged you first, but let them know when you have posted so they can read your blog.

10. I love dogs. I want a dog very badly...but unfortunately we live in an apartment complex that is [apparently] a police state and does not allow anything furry and comforting (other than Josh, that is). A smallish dog like a pomeranian or cocker spaniel would be perfect. For the record, I'm not such a big fan of cats, but I do have an affinity for cats who are really dogs at heart, like my brother-in-law's cat Ned.

9. I had ancestors on the Mayflower. One of these Thanksgivings I'm going to make everyone dress up as Pilgrims, as we are usually with our Pilgrim side of the family for turkey day.

8. I love love love Saturday Night Live. I have a very irreverent sense of humor. I could spend hours on their website watching the video clips. Click the link for something hilarious...Andy Punches

7. I have recently re-resigned from my self-appointed role as Cruise Director of my life. I like using the Cruise Director analogy to indicate someone who is in charge of a given situation. I'm going back to my cabin and awaiting the next port of call. (This is the point at which the metaphor gets incredibly cheesy.)

6. I have a band of very longtime friends who I am incredibly loyal to. Lately I've really been enjoying and treasuring the way our connections to one another have morphed and changed over time...sniff.

5. I intend to be employed as a Zamboni driver before I die.

4. I have a girl crush on one Tina Fey. She's so great. Josh bought me Season 1 of 30 Rock for my birthday and it was the best thing I didn't know I needed to own. I keep offering to loan it to people, so they too can know the joy, but I can't actually bring myself to part with it.

3. I've been having a series of epiphanies lately (related to #7). Ask me about them sometime, and please bear with me as I work on figuring it all out.

2. During my freshman year of college I became known as my floor's resident computer techie-slash-Master Paper Proofreader. I coulda made money hand over fist if I'd had any assertiveness skills back then.

1. I love me some lime pepper Talapia.

I tag Anne because she's put up with so much over the years and loves me anyway... Melissa because we never got to go on our 10th (or 15th) anniversary date...I tag Rudi because he married my friend Errin and has made her a very happy woman...I tag Sarah despite the fact that she only writes in her blog once a year, because she keeps me sane at many a family gathering...and Jon because, well, he's an absolute riot, and even though I haven't spent any time with him in a few years, he's the best SaHD I know. Further, I tag Eliina because she and I started a gang in high school called Los Chulos Cubanos (The Cuban Pimps)...or maybe her gang name was Chulo Cubano. I can't remember. And that's all I've got.

Houseguest

We have a visitor for a few days...say hi to our dog nephew, Noah. His mama went to Mackinac Island for a few days. Here's the hitch - we live in a pet-free community, and after two years of living here, I've come to believe that they really are nazis about this. I have never seen a snuck-in dog or cat. We're being risky here, people, but it's all worth it, no?


Noah was pretty skittish at first, as we were hearing noises from the neighbor's apartments, but Josh's mom tipped me off that a heating pad will calm him right down. I pulled mine out from the nightstand, and man oh man did he get excited. She was right, he chilled right out! What a funny little guy.

As is appropriate (given his heritage), we'll be taking him to TexasNorth tomorrow...for a hayride...and if you're lucky, I'll get a picture of him playing inside the dishwasher.

On disappointment...

I recently told you about a potential living situation that, at the time, seemed unbelievably God-driven. A friend of mine, her husband, and their four children were very, very likely going to be moving to China for a two-year-long job assignment. They asked if we'd consider living in their house while they're gone. Rent-free.

Yeah, you heard me.

In a surprising turn of events, what was once a 95% certainty became 0%. They've been told that, as a family of six, they're too expensive to send there. I got the e-mail yesterday afternoon.

Yesterday was a rough day, to be sure. I had to drive Josh back to church for his guitar-playing artistry. I had been planning to attend that service, but I was a crying, sorrowful mess...and to be perfectly honest, I was not feeling at all worshipful and was pretty angry. Fortunately that's abated now, but in the meantime I was determined that retail therapy was my cure. I left the mall empty-handed, as the pants I wanted did not want to fit me yesterday. Insult to injury! (Though it was a bit comical.) Thanks to those of you who sensed something was a bit off with me and offered me e-mails and/or MySpace comments of encouragement. Your words were incredibly helpful, even if you didn't quite know what you were comforting me about.

I did have a much better day today, though. I forced myself to think about the positive outcomes of this - we can still move come January if we want to. We could lease month-to-month and move at some point after that. There's some freedom involved, even if it isn't the financial freedom we were so looking forward to. We're not sure what we'll do, but it's good to have choices. It also helped that yesterday morning (prior to getting this news), I cleaned the bejeezus out of our apartment and thought to myself, "I love my home." There's something to be said for all this.

But it's still a bummer.

On a totally unrelated note, I'd like to recommend a fine drink called Chaider. Now, if you're totally culinarily-challenged, you can go pick one up at Kava House...hot or iced. (I love me some Kava.) OR OR OR if you'd like to save money and feel like a domestic god-dess (yes, say it that way), go buy yourself some Tazo Chai concentrate (they have it at Target and other fine establishments) and some cider. Pour 4 oz Chai into a mug, then fill it up the rest of the way with cider. Work that microwave for 2 1/2 minutes, stir well, and collapse on the floor in ecstasy...fer real. It's way up there with Kate's mac and cheese.

You can thank me later...with lavish gifts, if so inclined.

Little wonders...

Ok, so I'm going to hijack Chris' subject matter tonight...our dear Shauna Niequist has published a gorgeous book about the joys of the minutiae of life. Albeit, I have yet to read the whole thing (aside from the sample chapters on her website), but I am confident I can assign the word gorgeous to it, because nothing she produces could possibly be otherwise.

Today was another one of those great days in which I got to hang out with Adam and Sarah's kids. There's four of them. They're very busy. They're usually clambering all over each other. But gosh, they're fabulous little people. I spent the evening lamenting the fact that I'd forgotten my camera (my apologies for the pictureless post)...but let me tell you the highlights of my day with each of them.

Lainey...at 14 months, she has just mastered the art of standing up on her own and will walk if you hold her hands. She loves to hold entire conversations with you...you may not understand all the dialogue, but no worries - she does. Everything she sees, she points at, looks at you, and says, "wassat?" Tonight I gave her and Preston a joint bath, and let me tell you - the girl loves her some splashing. As I got concerned about how wet I was getting, I had to keep reminding myself of the pure joy she was in the midst of, and to just savor it.

Preston...what a little man he is. It's so hard to believe that he was only five months old when I first met him. He's surely bound for MENSA membership one of these days, and the expressions he makes with his chocolate brown eyes (set against his white-blond hair) are just priceless. The last time I watched him, he announced that he wanted "cornedbeefhashandeggs" for lunch. Tonight for dinner, he requested salami and cheese. Gosh, it's SO hard to believe that he and Josh were born on the same day. (Ha!) I also had to put him in time out twice today. He gets so so upset when he's put in time out, but he totally forgives me. Immediately.

Evan...well, lately we've been a bit concerned about Evan because he's a bit of a drama queen. Something tiny doesn't go his way? Total meltdown. Today, though, he had the most fabulous day. I've never had such an easy time with him. He showed me how to use the ridiculously complicated TV/DVD/cable hookup in the living room. He told me that Lainey takes soymilk in her bottle. He dressed as Darth Vader for our walk around the neighborhood. He told me that yes, in fact, he would like broccoli with his dinner. Sarah and I later concluded that it was because Spencer wasn't home and thus Evan got to be my helper and was therefore involved. Poor kid. Classic middle child...so often, I think he's just trying to make sure he doesn't get lost in the shuffle. I just love Evan.

Spencer...well, admittedly, he was at a friend's house all day and I saw him for exactly 2.5 seconds when he got home. However, he called TWICE prior to coming home to let me know where he was at, and could I please tell Evan that he could sleep downstairs with Spencer in his room tonight? This was very important. What nearly-12-year-old boy makes such a point of having his six-year-old brother down to his room for a slumber party? I can't speak highly enough about Spencer. He's such a phenomenal kid.

Here's to all of us taking note of the glorious little moments of our day...

Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges...

Hello, friends. I'm feeling listy today.

1. My office moved. Just about everybody moved somewhere. My new office isn't really any further away and I now share with only one person instead of two. Tyler and I will get on well, I think. We've already made a joint dorm fridge purchase on Craigslist to store Diet Coke, and...well, that's probably about it. I will miss the Eastown bus stop out my window, however...some days more than others. Let's just say that.

2. We've had some financial fallout from the whole condo thing...on top of losing a $500 deposit (which we were fine with), we've learned that when you apply for a mortgage, lots of people come out of the woodwork. Two in particular who say that somebody owes them some money for certain utilities they utilized while living in Allendale, MI at some point in their young adulthood.*

3. I just got a paper cut opening an envelope from one of these woodwork-type people. And it bled.

4. We're meeting on Thursday with some people about an intriguing possibility that is increasingly looking likely come January. I won't go into details just now - mainly because we don't know too many, and also because we haven't had enough of the important conversations yet. Let's just put it this way - this possibility involves shelter for the Mikrut Party of Two, and it does not include purchase OR rental. Nor does it involve a cardboard box (as I know this is your next question). If you've read Diane's blog recently, we are indeed some of the people she was referring to when she said, "Over the last few weeks I've heard many crazy stories from my friends on how Tiger is meeting their needs in such crazy and nonsensical ways and we wonder, in the end, why it's always a surprise." Yup. You'll know more when we feel we have enough info and certainty to share it.

5. For the next week and a half, we are On A Mission. We're going to create the most bizarre meals, as we are going to use only What We Already Have. I'm having a vision...I'm thinking oatmeal with a side of beets. For Lunch. Maybe.

6. Oh, and also, we're both determined to get healthier, so we're making changes simultaneously to help motivate each other. It's pretty great. Today I ate FIVE servings of fruits and vegetables. Ooops, that reminds me - I forgot to take me vitamin.

Right. Bedtime.

*Laura has NEVER been a resident of Allendale, MI.

Tell Josh congrats...

...and say hi to Lainey while you're at it.


This may look like a random assortment of Roman numerals, but I assure you, friends...it is not.

It's report card season again, wOOt wOOt!

The new chalkboard announcement tells us that Josh got the certificate of merit for his Civil Procedures class. For those of you who are not Eliina, this means he got the highest grade in the class, beating out 39 other people. This is a bigger deal than it might seem...he gets an actual certificate and gets to make a note of it on his resume. The boy's in shock, he's really not sure how this happened but golly is he joyful.

Now, if I could only remember where I put the "Josh" confetti...

Happy Birthday, Nate!

Josh's little brother Nate turns 17 today. Here's a few interesting things about him:

5. Nate is child #5 out of six. Nate is also fortunate enough to be one of the only Mikruts with his Very Own Birthday (see earlier posts).

4. When Nate was confirmed, he had to choose a confirmation name. He chose Paul. This makes his full name Nathan Paul Paul Mikrut. He's hilarious.

3. We haven't seen Nate's eyes in several years due to his flowing tresses.

2. Josh and I frequently comment that Nate is a very good kid.

1. Nate borrowed my car for his drivers license test a few months ago. The check engine light has been on ever since...but at least he passed.

EEEEEK! I forgot!

I fell off my birthday list wagon! How could I forget? Certainly, I didn't forget the birthdays themselves, but in the wild joys of the early days of my vacation, I totally forgot to post. My apologies to the boys who helped me prepare for the trials of living with THE boy.

First, on the 25th, we have my illustrious brother Steve, who turned 26:



10. People often ask where Steve gets his red hair, as my parents and I all have dark brown hair. In reality, both sides of the family are blessed with that recessive gene - mom's mom has red hair, as do three of my dad's four siblings. In fact, Russell is a Scottish (and French) nickname for redhead.

9. When we were little, I had a friend over, and she and I made up a song to tease Steve that went, "Stevie Wonder's gonna get hit by thunder." I remembered the lyrics but forgot which friend it was. I was later reunited with Kim in college when I befriended her best friend Tanya - she remembered it too. Mystery solved.

8. When we moved to Lansing, six-year-old Steve got his hands on one of those Graphic Street Guide books (i.e. "For Walnut St, see page 37, coordinates A-9") and the kid memorized it. He also told my parents how to get around town.

7. Steve remembers the birthday of everyone he's ever met. He's going to be a big hit at his high school reunion.

6. As a preschooler, Steve's most treasured companion was an old, tattered Sears Christmas catalog.

5. Steve was once an ardent admirer of Cookie Monster and owned several related items, including this one.

4. Give Steve any date in history, and he will tell you what day of the week it fell on.

3. Steve is an accomplished public speaker; he once performed a solo act on one of our high school mission trips that had an incredibly funny punchline about a blue-light special.

2. Steve works in the library of the Lansing branch of Josh's law school.

1. Steve just moved out into his first apartment and we're all very happy for him!

Daddy-o then turned 66 on the 27th (because the Mikruts aren't the only ones who can pile up birthdays on top of each other) -


10. Dad was a honeymoon baby. I figured this out when I was about 11, and as his 50th birthday was approaching, I realized, "Hey, wait a minute...we just had Grandma and Grandpa's 50th anniversary party...nine months ago?"

9. His middle name is Sean, although my Grandma has always insisted that it is pronounced "Seen," which she claims is the Scottish pronunciation.

8. When I was a kid, Daddy and I always got up early together on Saturdays to watch The Muppet Show and the cartoons that followed. One of his favorite ways to get my goat was to insist that he and Gargamel were the best of friends.

7. Being the jokester that he is, Dad once painstakingly crafted gag Christmas gifts for some of his co-workers. I remember him retrofitting a string of Christmas lights, four lights in length, to plug into a co-worker's outlet. The lucky recipient was apparently very vocal about how much he hated Christmas lights.

6. I remember Dad working hard on preparations for one of my birthday parties; he got a book of kids' games from the library and my favorite of these was a shuttle relay in which we had to carry a golf ball on a spoon and hand it off to the next person without dropping it.

5. When my mom was nearing the end of her pregnancy with Steve, Dad was very insistent that 40 was too old to be welcoming a new child into the fold. Steve was born two days before Dad's 40th birthday, and Dad has been most appreciative ever since.

4. Dad has always been handy and creative in the area of woodworking. He has spent many Saturday afternoons in front of the TV watching Bob Vila on PBS, though now his interest has shifted to gardening.

3. Only my father would purchase one of those faces that you put on a big ol' tree.

2. Papa was a sailor in the Navy. He loves boats, books about boats, books about wars between boats, and all things Tom Clancy. He and Josh get along so, so well.

1. My father is one of the only people I know who does not like Mexican food. Poor guy - doesn't know what he's missing, I say.

A quagmire of epiphanies (both complete and partially formed)

Yesterday was a day of wrestling...with numbers on a yellow legal pad, with expectations, and with God.

In short, we decided to walk away from our condo purchase.

Upon evaluating the final numbers and our own situation, we came to realize that it simply wasn't wise for a number of reasons. As much as we wanted to do this, we want to make sure we're coming at it from a position of financial strength, more so than right now.

Wrestling is tiring. But it brings freedom, too, and we're feeling that in spite of our disappointment. I'm tempted to be a little embarrassed about the whole thing, especially with how much we've been talking about it to people, but ultimately I'm proud of the decision we made and know that you all support us in spite of our occasional starry eyes. (And believe me, this assurance comes only after a meltdown on my part where I may or may not have said, "I'm that foolish person they always talk about in the Bible!" There was anguish and gnashing of teeth and everything.) Wrestling is painful and gut-wrenching.

After making this decision, we rushed to our 3:00 appointment for more soul-searching as conducted by a professional (aka counseling - not really related to above epiphany) and the conversation turned to my frustration with where my career is (or, rather, isn't) going. My frustration with how hard I work and how my worth as a counselor can't be measured by a formulaic job evaluation (or a suitable paycheck, for that matter). Mario (blessed man) asked me what I want to do, ultimately. I said school counseling. He then started talking about networking, about how I need to sell myself, etc. I started thinking about how difficult and awkward that sounds (albeit necessary)...then I started thinking about something Mario had said earlier...about private practice. About how he found a lot of freedom in that. And I recalled how I had thought in the past how good he has it - not having to deal with bureaucrazy (misspelling accidental but totally appropriate), insurance companies, etc. About how at the age of 16 I had read Reviving Ophelia and decided that I wanted to be a psychologist who works with depressed teenage girls and how that was what started all these shenanigans in the first place.

On the walk back out to the car, Josh said, "What are you thinking?" And I replied, "Don't talk. I'm thinking."

Truth was, I wasn't just thinking. I was listening. Realllllly listening for the first time in awhile. I was asking God if I need to alter my path a little, if I need start pursuing my original ambition. And I got kind of excited.

I don't know where this will lead, but my outlook, attitude, and list of possibilities is changing. Prayers, please...or, as Diane would say, have a little talk with Tiger for me.

::

On a lighter note, I've been watching a lot of 80s sitcoms on TV today. Almost on purpose...Little House on the Prairie, Full House, Family Matters, and now Roseanne (something tells me it's time to find something else to do). A number of thoughts came to mind:

+ Poor Uncle Jesse with the pink bunnies on the wall!
+ I'm so glad that I don't have to call my mother in law something like Mother Winslow
+ I wonder what young Judy Winslow is doing with her career these days?

A quick search of imdb.com told me that Young Judy Winslow had a foray into hardcore pornography, which saddened me greatly. I then read her bio, which told me that she has since walked away from it and is once again pursuing a legitimate acting career and religion, which made me happy.

Right. Must find something else to do. Signing off.

Unlikely, but true...

I am addicted to this show. Watch it, and watch it often. Holy cow.

MA-MA

Mommy Dearest turns 62 today. I'll bet you didn't know this about her...

10. When Mom was a kid, her little sister (Aunt Candy) gave all her dolls away to the neighbor girls. My mother still brings this up.

9. She can't whistle. I inherited this from her.

8. My mom smoked for several years in her 20s. She gave it up cold turkey as a wedding gift for my dad.

7. Mama Bear was born exactly two weeks before V-J Day, or the end of WWII in Japan.

6. My grandpa was not present for my mom's birth, as he was stationed in Kansas or someplace equally boring.

5. My mom makes the best snickerdoodles around. Just ask honorary Russell daughter Kym. My mom once drove to Kalamazoo on a weekday night to surprise me with a fresh batch of snickerdoodles. Kym was in on it. It was fabulous.

4. My mom has slowly turned into my grandmother over the past several years. The hallmark of this phenomenon is regular usage of the phrase, "Oh, for heaven's sake!" This is sometimes accompanied by collecting an entire wardrobe of Alfred Dunner apparel - my mom has not yet reached this pinnacle.

3. When I was a kid and my mom would take me shopping (always at JC Penney or Sears...ALWAYS), I never wanted to try on clothes. Mom's response was to say with cheesy enthusiasm, "Oh, come on. Just for fun." Don't ask me why, but it worked.

2. As a child I did not require much discipline - I feared Mom's disapproval a great deal. You'd never know to look at her that she could be so intimidating.

1. For a brief time we were able to share both clothes and shoes...until I got to fifth grade and became taller than her.

Happy Birthday, Mom! Love you!

A day late...

And more than a dollar short. Yesterday two of my favorite boys turned a year older...

Preston is three, and as you can see, his birthday was very much orange (and Diego). Five things you may not know about Presto-Chango:

5. Preston once said that he didn't like Uncle Josh. Why? "He's bad." What did he do? "He hit me." When? "After school." The kid is full of it on all fronts. He loves his birthdaymate Uncle Josh.

4. Even though at three years old he is a very big boy, Preston cannot go to bed without at least two pluggies and a sippy cup of warm milk.

3. Preston is only willing to eat the following: hotdogs, tater tots, and apples. It is not unusual to find, in random spots such as the refrigerator or on a chair, an abandoned apple with a few tiny bites taken out of it.

2. Preston is very smart. It is rumored that he has memorized the entire Gettysburg Address.

1. Preston's favorite response to any question is, "Sure!"

It was also Josh's 32nd birthday. Here's 10 things you may not know about Josh:

10. Josh is ambivalent about the color orange.

9. Josh has recently learned that he has a gluten intolerance. Last night he got a gluten-free cake made from wonderful things like sweet rice flour, tapioca flour, and xanthan gum.

8. Josh also has an intolerance to caffiene. He can't even drink decaf coffee. He has to buy this very expensive "coffee" made from chicory root, carob, and other fine wholesome ingredients.

7. Josh has an assortment of Star Wars action figures lined up on a bookshelf in our office. Also in our office? A life-sized Luke Skywalker cardboard cutout.

6. Josh does a dead-on impersonation of Milton Waddams.

5. Several years ago, Josh wrote and had a role in a locally-produced feature-length film. During filming, the set was swarmed by the GRPS SWAT team and he was commanded to lay on the ground with his hands over his head. No kidding.

4. Much like Preston, Josh likes to rock out.

3. Josh is surprised by how much he likes his Torts class. I may end up being the wife of an ambulance chaser.

2. Josh has been to China three times and obtained a very realistic fake Rolex Submariner during his last excursion.

1. Josh loves The West Wing. He owns all seven seasons and falls asleep watching it every night. The show even inspired him to make up his own dance, which he calls "Disc Two." Someday when I'm stealthy enough I'll film him doing it and post it on here for y'all.

Tomorrow's post? You guessed it...another birthday.

Little Lainey Lou, she's not quite two...

...but today, she's one!



Five little-known facts about our niece and goddaughter, Lainey:

5. She has quite the extensive vocabulary. Two of her favorite words are "baby" and "kitty."

4. Lainey doesn't much care for fruit. She would much rather eat a jar of squash.

3. Lainey loves kitties, especially the family cat, Nedwin. Ned is a good sport and lets Lainey poke, prod, and pull on him mercilessly.

2. Lainey LOVES Shrek and can watch the entire movie with rapt attention in a single sitting.

1. Lainey absolutely hates it when you wear a hat or other head accessory. She will start crying the minute she sees you and will shun you for hours after you've removed the offending item.

Next on the birthday docket we have Preston and Uncle Josh...both on Monday.



















Hopefully Josh is okay with having an orange birthday. (Or a Diego birthday...whatever.)


And as for the shiner on Preston's right eye...we're not sure what happened. His story was rather inconsistent. From what we can tell, it involved the kid next door, Connor, and either a car, a golf club, or a baseball bat. Yowch. Preston had a bad week in the face department, given that on Sunday morning he put a YoGo up his nose at big brother Evan's request. Moral of the story? Don't do what Evan tells you to.

Confirmation...

Photos of the evidence...purple wall, indeed.

Oh Preston.
Preston Elijah.
How silly you are.

As a little background - my nephew Preston has only been to my house once and probably doesn't remember it. Sometimes he asks me about where Uncle Josh and I live, and I tell him it's far away.

Fast forward to tonight - my mother in law (bless her) calls me as I am having dinner with my mom in Portland, MI (undeniably far away from my usual locale) and tells me that Preston wants to talk to me. Apparently while babysitting him tonight, they'd been sitting out on the front porch and he'd started listing off all the people he loves. Then he got to me "I love Aunt Laura" and decided he needed to give me a ring. Smart kid.

So he gets on the phone and is very, very insistent that I come over tonight to watch Shrek with him.

So I explain, "Oh honey, I'm sorry, I can't...I'm really far away right now and I can't come there tonight." To which he replies, "Well, when you're done at your house come over here and watch Shrek."

(This connection did not dawn on me until just a few minutes ago, mind you.)

Then I again explain that I am very, very far away and I by the time I got there, he would be in bed. He says (very earnestly), "No, I'm not going to bed yet." I hear some talking in the background, and he says, very matter-of-fact, "Grandma says I'm going to bed soon."

So apparently then I was told that I am going to come over tomorrow night to watch Shrek.

Preston will turn three later this month.
And his birthday is going to be orange. (Or so he keeps telling us.)

PS - What's the place where Shrek lives? Far Far Away? HMMMMMM...

Movin' on up....

...but not sure where yet. Josh and I have a realtor, we have a good faith estimate, and every reason to believe we'll get approved for a mortgage, for which we'll apply soon. We've been scouting out houses on GRAR. We're kinda excited. We're also prepared to possibly not find anything we want in our price range and make our apartment work for awhile longer. It hasn't been that momentous of a step yet, but it feels a lot better to have a couple of professionals in our court, understand the process a little better, and have a much better idea of what we can actually afford, y'know? We'll probably wind up with something relatively small and meager, but it will be OURS - we'll be able to get a dog. We'll be able to paint the walls purple if we want (because I certainly don't know anyone else with a purple wall in their house). We'll get a tax deduction...even if it isn't this kind just yet.

Speaking of that kind, congrats to my good friends Liz and Jeff. Liz was a good friend in college who helped get me through some...uhhh...interesting Russian Culture classes (we learned a LOT about this guy) and shared my profound affinity for fine cinema. Today they welcomed two new little he-Wierengas - Gibson Donald and Henry Daniel. Here are the official publicity photos:


Aren't they lovely? Laura might have to make a stop out in Clarksville before long to say hello. Additionally, Mama and Papa are about to celebrate their 4th anniversary on July 4 - that was one schweet wedding. We all got little pies as favors. Great theme, guys.

That's all for now...you'll know more as we know more!

Oh, sweet Jesus

I really mean it. Jesus is sweet and beautiful and lovely.

Some photos of this evening's festivities:







We've been through some gut-wrenching emotion over here at Mikrut Central lately, much of which has resulted from a certain final grade that did not correctly reflect a certain amount of studiousness on the subject of Torts. I won't go into that so much, because today was a much better day. I get a phone call from my boy, who informs me that another of his grades has posted, and he'd gotten an A- in Contracts.

Huge. Freakin'. Victory.

The boy is exuberant. He's thrilled. His faith in himself has been restored. He tells me that prior to calling me, he ran around the house and shrieked like Macaulay Culkin. (Don't you just love the imagery?) Although when you think about it, Mac's shrieking was not so much from joy as it was Aqua Velva, but whatever.

I found JOSH confetti at Meijer. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Sooo...

So I gave up blogging/myspace/instant messaging/etc for Lent. I had intended to write about it when I returned, and I'd intended to return much sooner than this. I just wasn't inspired. So instead I've been lurking - reading your blogs and commenting, but contributing nothing of my own to the (cyber)world. Sorry 'bout that, but oh well. Deal. :)

Tonight I finally convinced Josh to try Yahtzee, which he had NEVER PLAYED IN HIS LIFE. Seriously - how does one get through nearly 32 years in a developed nation without knowing how to play Yahtzee? Anyway, he caught on quickly but had bad luck. He then taught me chess and poker.

I would like to state, for the record, that I whooped ol' boy's butt in 2 games of Yahtzee, five card stud, and seven card stud. Unfortunately, his bishop checkmated my king. Grrr.

Another interesting component of my day...I was drugg'd. As some background, I am a lifelong sufferer of these horrific cramps in my feet, the kind where two of your toes clamp together and curl downward. It hurts like crazy. I've been told to take potassium supplements, calcium supplements, drink lots of water, and stretch my feet on a regular basis. Do you think any of this helps? 'Course not. (Why should my body work like it's supposed to?) Anyway, last night I was just starting to drop off at 2 a.m. when all of a sudden - searing, painful spasm in m'left foot. I got up and stretched it every which way I could think of. I put on my fleece "booty socks." I wrapped my foot in a heating pad on the highest setting. (I should take this opportunity to point out that the two latter actions have great possibility of making things worse, as they require some degree of pointing my toe.) Anyway, nothing was working, and Grumpy Sleepy Josh muttered, "WHY do you keep wiggling around???" So I said screw it and retrieved one of Josh's Flexeril (sp?) tablets out of the medicine cabinet. Now, I know it's illegal to take someone else's prescription (so SHHHH). And I knew full well that these fine muscle relaxers would make me a zombie all day today.

I was a zombie all day today. But at least I didn't get arrested.

So even though I zoned out a lot at church, dozed off on the couch at Josh's grandma's this afternoon, and didn't get any of my rapidly-coming-due paperwork done for my day job, that's okay. IT WAS WORTH IT.

To paraphrase a song from this morning - I'd like to love my feet to heaven. Or at least a perpetually relaxed state.

So now, Sleepy Rubber Cement Girl is off to bed.